IF I WAS A BOY

Let the record reflect that i love this song…..and beyonce….and any song where a girl is seriously rocking a cop uniform and attitude…..”Mrs. Officer, Mrs. Officer….” recall Bobby V Lil Wayne? Take tips future boyfriend incase you will be into some kink! *blushing*.

So the other day, oh my posts all start like that don’t they? Yes the other day am  hanging out with subject X, he is reading an article that I give him to read for the record…..and what does he do…he picks this one line and points it to me….something to do with how he thinks a chique should be in heels everyday. I was stunned! When am stunned I stare intensely……and in his defense “He was just saying”. But aren’t we all “Just saying” when we know someone will take offence and we are trying to act innocent….no? Some major chutzpah he had to pull that. Especially knowing me……what was he trying to tell me…that in his book I would only rate sexy if i wear heels? That that’s his standard for a sexy woman? Or that he feels that am lacking in this sexy department and I could use some heels? Yes when am stunned I stare….and in my staring, my brain is working overtime coming up with so many assumptions that if you don’t bother rectifying what you said…i bag the assumptions! But come on, am a creature of comfort…I love my comfort, and my legs….and my posture….and i my calves…so to ruin all that just to turn a few heads……subject under discussion.

But then if i was a boy I probably might reason the same wouldn’t I? I tend to believe I might……or not but lets see. So one day I wake up to hear me in a hoarse voice….. aah the day….though Subject X says alot that he highly suspects I was a guy in my previous life…….alot you have to answer for X, HOW DO YOU PLEAD?

Back to relevant issues, if that happened, I would probably wake up and my name would be Lucas. Merely for the fact that I love how it sounds. I would be pursuing Architecture, are those kids the coolest? I don’t think I would talk as much as I do as girl, I mean I would know that in my previous life I detested guys that talk much, for reasons best known to myself. I would play a sport, probably tennis, hopefully I would have legs as great as Djokovic, problem is everything about him is great. I would be a big smoker but I would take care not to have bad teeth, but I wouldn’t drink much, just because I don’t get the fascination with beer. I would NEVER wear a skinny, but worst is a colored skinny, whats with the trend? There has to be a clear distinction between a man and a woman. I would never mind that women like to wear a little, wait…or alot, of makeup and have some weave on their heads, merely for the fact that it accentuates a few things here and there. I dont think I would want to sleep with Nicki Minaj cause of her body, truth be told I wouldn’t be a junk guy, but I would love her for her attitude. So probably would be dating a girl with a bad attitude, not drama though. I wouldn’t call her “mama” though cause for sure I know I find that name just annoying. I wouldn’t have a beer gut…digress, whats that about? Guys want to date some gym addicts but then they say its a mans world and they can walk around with all that unsexy body. Only Rossy can do that and its because his money will cover it, lmaooooo! Would I like a girl in heels? yes, but only if she doesn’t get to look down on me, literally. I found that so wrong in “Think Like Man….”, think Kevin Hart. I would get married and settle at some point but before I do, I would definately have me a lot of random sex, why, cause as a guy I hear its just guy thing. Then there’s a bro code and the first rule is bros over whores? Please, can we be serious over here? A bro makes a move on my whore, eeeeer I mean girl, and I choose him cause she is the whore (I used that?), to be honest bros will be the fake-st friends I can keep, cause they will always want  what they dont have even if I have it. The next post will be a dispute to these codes. I would be the guy who wears alot of vests (aka waist coats) and alot of ties, and I would wear sick colognes. Again I would remember that when I was a girl, little things like this would just have me… ogle! I would be close to my dad than my mum, wait, no. I dont support the gays, and the only dispute I have to their fake relationship is even in families, men are attracted to women…yes you can take a minute to think about it. The only thing I dont know is if I would find some girl to girl action hot, no guy has ever been able to convince me whats the deal with it, I guess its one of those “Guy Things”.  My word count has officially been decided to be too long.

Anyway I think the best part to this “If I was a boy song” is R. Kelly saying that she is not a boy and she doesn’t understand….

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