A few things in this world make me weak in the knee. Top of the list is Michael Ealy, and then to level the field, because let’s just face it, nothing can compete with the sexy and amazing him, comes men with really good scents, men who smile way less…research by me shows that they in turn will talk less and this therefore makes them always quite honest, cake and striking clothes. My world as it is, the things that matter in it are hard to predict. I bet Michael Ealy can, I bet he only has that grin, that that should be made illegal, and only when he wants to pass a message…. to me seriously you saw that coming when I mentioned him up there. I bet he doesn’t wait 3 hours or days to ask me why my responses are snappy and the minute he notices it he addresses it, cause that just how cool it is. Is it love? I do NOOOOT get that bit about men, but is there anything I get about them, nop, I gave up trying, maybe it’s just that they like sex and that’s the end of my book “ABOUT MEN”. Oh, let alarms not go up, that am one of those girls who live life saying “All men are dogs”, hell no am not, but today I reached that point, not the dogs point, but the am done giving a hoot point, I trimmed my phone book, by the road seriously, I bet apart from my dad, the number of contacts belonging to them is on a low today. Though as much as I don’t get them I do find them predictable.

Now am done whining. So a few posts ago at the beginning of this year, I wrote a few things I would do different. I did this thinking I had points to prove, since I said I want to be a nicer me. I said much; I am not taking it back, but these things to happen it just needs efforts from both people. I strongly said I will tell people how I feel about them, about things, hah, noooo, truth, especially about these things aren’t for me. I think I am more scared of the uncertainty of the other parties’ response than anything else and let it be not what I expected then like today, I get rash. I like being an eye to eye sort of person, not in the vengeful sense, I take a step when someone does, I run when they run and I don’t talk when they don’t. In other words I wouldn’t make unnecessary effort when this isn’t being returned. Plus lets say someone did become that honest to me, I would be so polite about it, I would let you down so easy with a lie like “We can just try dating….see where it goes” and whenever I say dating, it means its going nowhere, but point is, I wouldn’t say anything mean, I leave that for Mirfat aka TOTO Mhot (recall tujuane). This seems like a letter about my emotions, my therapist says it’s better than continuing to build my wall, at least I don’t talk to the voices in my head, and oh those voices are geniuses.

So I make quite a good consult, but have you heard that people who are too good with other people’s problems are quite bad with theirs…support the theory! So my pals are pretty messed up, I say this with all love. They make such little matters to be such big problems, things I find ridiculous! Then before I say something mean, I got back to my list and I say I will listen, so I do listen. There is this boy, am glad she said boy, cause I don’t associate men with problems, they are grown up. So story of a boy, cliché cliché cliché… what did he do, he didn’t say some words back, he stuttered and said something like “Oh…..okay” and someone is puffing fumes! It’s like he owed her you know, he owed her to say it back. After all she gave him the ultimate giveaway price…lmaooo, the things I take for granted. I didn’t laugh to her face, but come on, it does sound funny, it’s like in this century someone saying something like “But he was my first” does that still happen? Survey says even 12 year olds are having sex, so let’s be honest, really, ultimate. Women being as cunning as we are, I bet she said this right after the “price giving ceremony”. Even the marathon runners normally need a break to start sending shout outs you know. I let her have her way then finish with something like, ummmm okay! I bet I sounded like the guy in the dog house, and now am in the dog house too! These words “I LOVE YOU”. I said them once, at least I got some confused smile with words like “You should know what I feel by now” so since then, they never come out. When I try, I choke. Not cause I detest them, I really don’t,  I just…I don’t get it. It’s too much pressure; it’s like dating for years then one day deciding to splash millions for a ceremony and a gown and friends to seal the deal. If am that into you, we will walk down a literal altar with only a priest plus witnesses required and I will be happy. Plus the white gown, we all know you aren’t a virgin so, can’t that change?

I cook, am so good at it that I can afford to brag about it. I cook for my family, a few times my friends pay me to cook for them. Then occasionally, I invite someone over to my place, I literally think so hard on what to prepare and when I start I put all effort to it. I don’t say I love you but when one day I say “Hey, come over I will cook lunch” you better have the biggest smile on your face. It’s only fair to keep the one you really care about healthy and satisfied doesn’t it make more sense? My culinary skills are to express a lot, unless you are like that guy from the famous “Tujuane” from #teamMafisi who literally interpreted an invite over to her digz means some “gerring  it” time…my vocabulary is wanting. I am a creature of comfort, a stubborn one at that. So I rarely go out of my way to please someone, cooking inclusive. I won’t say I love you, until one day I get the logic behind it, I mean I do love my clothes too, with regards to this, my actions will speak louder than those words.  So when I do something that was clearly me going out of my way, like visiting you in rongai, RONGAI!!! Such that I associate myself with people in the “diaspora” You better believe that it’s not because I loves sitting in traffic, not because I love touring…but because I LOVE……wait…YOU!

P.S I Heard that people in the diaspora watched the debate yesterday.


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