In Pursuit of Understanding the new female species……….

Has any of you not watched the new Nicki Minaj ft Lil Wayne video? of just listened to the song, it’s called High School….eeeeh I love her music and if you haven’t heard it, make a point. The video is explicit in a major way, some of us are too saved, so close your eyes. What caught my attention is the lyrics, but then Nicki is some mami whose audacity amuses me alot, am not complaining…..so here is a few

Lil Wayne “She got a nigga at home
And one on the side
Best friend is a dyke, they fucked around a few times…….

…………………………………………………………………………….

And I say, “What about them niggas?”
She say, “What about them niggas?”
You right, what you doing tonight?

……………………………………………………..

She tell me that’s it’s mine
I tell her stop lying
Mine and who else?
She say worry ’bout yourself……”

Let’s make it clear, 50% of my play list is NICKI NICKI NICKI, I think she redefined hip hop for females et al. I am definately not picking a fight.

I woke up this morning the got a tweet from one of my tweeps….Football Night, Keep the blue flag alive! I am a Chelsea fan. Tonight we play the quater finals of the Europa league. Impatience is not a virtue, shhhhhh, I will get to where I am going, I always just need time to express myself, ummmh, you know. So, I watch football, but when it comes to sports am an ace! I did a fitness test last week and just so you know, none of you have anything on me. I love speed so I will watch F1. My biggest weakness is tennis, I think its for the cool crowd…so if you dont watch or play tennis…eh consider. Basically I watch alot of sports as well as play alot of sports….so when someone did tweet me this morning that its football night and I have to #KTBFFH and I had no idea what they were talking about, some alarm went off in my head. I had to google this to get back to the bandwagon. Oh  no, am not depressed, on the contrary am quite a happy soul. I did not get dumped, I just stopped keeping tabs on football.

My cover photo on facebook is one of my Chelsea jerseys, am thinking of bringing it down , though, its the only trace remaining that at least I watch football and these things count when you try to make intelligent conversations. Okay, now am done with the hypotheses, so lets get on to this! Who the eff brought up this whole idea of 50-50 gender equality because whoever it was clearly did not take into consideration the nitty gritty details about women and their behaviour. I will come out and say this, never will I ever vote for a woman president, I dont care about making history and such but I will not. For those who haven’t been keeping up with my blog, am a lady just so we are clear but I can’t for the life of me vote for her. For the simply reason that women get drunk with power and once given power they do their best to make their pride and arrogance show!

The new breed of women drink like their fathers and do not cook like their mothers anymore. They have all the replies to the bad weave jokes, men keep off those. They know every bouncer in westlands because they are quite some regulars over there on friday nights or Monday-Monday nights. They know the EPL table standings, even better than the average men, and My…. the Arsenal jokes they have it all…..just so we are clear, I think I love making fun of Arsenal, they are like my punching bag in football. For some reason I dont find it odd that most Boards have women sitting on them, well I want to sit on a board, and this is not double standards on my part. I was asked my dream job and I ever said its to be a PA to some very swanky (and hot) CEO. Keep in mind I pursue a heavy male dominated undergraduate degree. It is the guy asking for serious relationship with the girl saying something like…am too young, give it a year or so. The new female species, oh they dont care anymore about you and your wallet, “Tafadhali waiter……guiness kubwa baridi for me and each of my gals” *I died*. If I was a boy and she did that, I will simply pay for this guiness kubwa and am out on my way. I mean some even try and still find this sweet men who do nice things like coffee dates, oh they still are there by the way. Yet when they are done with the coffee (or dinner) you hear her go like ” So now, what’s the plan”. Jeez, mami the plan was dinner and the talk! You wonder why we have “chemical warfare” bizarre happenings! No, thats not her plan, it cant be her plan when Joe Mflame will be at Galileo Extereme doing one of these shows with hilarious names like…wait… its gone, it sounded like these dirty names for tequilla, like “panty remover”  She will be the one at 3 a.m after “chipo-in” you saying something like “Boss, you need to go, I have a game with my girls later”.

Hell, I could go on forever but lets just say in the Nairobi scene or all over the world, things have changed. When Beyonce said “Who runs the world….girls” I doubt this is what she meant. Though how can it not be, I mean refer above, have you seen the lyrics for Nicki’s new song? In this day and age, everyone wants to be Nicki. Come to think of it, is it really our fault? Every single guy makes Nicki be the standard epitome of beauty. Just like once it always was girl-girl action branded epitome of cool-ness.

Anyway all that aside, I have a few issues to raise. I think at the end of the day we miss the basics. The basics such as God made man and woman (to all the gay community, it was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Adam or Adam and Steve hehe). When he did, Man was to be head, you have to admit it all. Do I love football, yes, do I watch football, yes, do I make it the basis of every conversation with every guy I meet….no. He might bring it up, we will lightly touch on it, he says something like #KTBFFH and if am puzzled I will say something coy like “Is that the committee that was formed to whip all the men wearing peddle pushers screaming with bright colors?”. If he doesn’t laugh it off, then his sense of humour issues are way beyond my control. Let us go back to the basics, the basics like men have very big egos that can be deflated with a pin. That if his team loses then the only 24hour bragging rights are entitled to his boys, not the girlfriend, the girlfriend is entitled to taking his mind off it. Lets go back to the basics and agree that yes, I do have a jersey for my fave football team, but when my guy and I start walking on the streets wearing jerseys and jeans, it really seems more of a bro-relation that a love relation. It even gets worse when I have a mohawk and he is wearing a skinny jeans.

It does not make your “girl balls” any smaller if you drink a glass of wine, handle your liquor instead of having to prove that you are quite a champ. The only place its quite sexy to prove your heavy weight venture should actually be on a 6×6, if you get my drift. There is nothing more embarrassing than falling flat on your ass especially with his friends around courtesy of a couple of bottles of the “guiness kubwa”. That does not mean that you should not be in a Green and White jersey when Gor is playing, that is blasphemy for ignoring “Serikal” when they call on you! I will be the “dendai” with the green wig and helmet in the terraces, explore your wild side. I will be at the afternoon EPL match watching date set for the weekend, but when the guys say something like “that was an Elbow cc of Giroud”, I will smile and say something like “but you have to admit this Giroud guy is sort of hot. In fact all of Arsenal players are, if they set their priorities right they would make more money on billboards than on a football pitch” hehe. Not that I will not have an idea of how the game is played, or who is the leading scorer, but I will not emasculate him and act like I know more.

So yes, be the girl who can make an intelligent conversation but the only time you are allowed to drink a kegger upside down is at the college party…..

p.s. I want to attend a kegger party, any ideas?

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4 thoughts on “In Pursuit of Understanding the new female species……….

    • eeeeh Seth so how comes it seems like am commenting on my own article? hehe [I do know there are the two angles but my wordcount was already on a high….will speak of it soon

  1. Looooved the article 🙂 xcpt nicki minaj,she dsnt epitomise all mens desires(just lotsa cellulite)..true true bout the ladies, n handshake on point bout equality..
    admin*ur awesome*

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