In a moment of boredom, I was counting cracks on my ceiling last night….in other words I couldnt sleep. The normal human being knows that it is in this hour that so much thought happens. Like it is the hour you realize that enyewe…that boy you have been holding on to does not treat you right. Or that skirt you wore today for sure doesn’t fit anymore, am I gaining too much weight? It is the fries, it definately is the fries, I should cut down on those. It is the hour you remember that maybe you need to get a grip of your life….or if you are J.R.R. Tolkien then maybe it is the hour he realizes, maybe Bilbo should go on another adventure! haha am just saying when you mind is idly thinking about money well his is full of creative ways to make me awwwwe!
So I am lying in bed and thinking. I see that the three men who have ever mattered most in my life…i.e. those who have managed to touch a nerve and do not be mistaken they are three only in my 22 years of life, can actually be…wait, let me describe it…that if you take their three faces and assume they were puzzle pieces, and put one on top of the other you can literally assume all of them have the same origins…is it weird? Well just so we are clear, for matters of custom and all, I think I should suggest a DNA thingy or or?
That was not my angle to begin with, it was one of those by the way moment…..like the last by the way was that I owe you an album review but the I got so lazy or some other interesting idea overtook it and now am here with this…..typing and going on and on. Oh this was after a few glasses of wine so today I can type………the energy can burn on reserves ha ha! When this year started I told myself….ummmmph, now I think I have cleared everything out, every single baggage, and am ready, ready to handle the other persons baggage. Ready to date! Ladies and gentlemen, methinks people who live in glass houses should not throw stones btw…..bear with it, it will sink in in a while.
So armed, I set out. I hear I have the longest coldown period. Like I can take an year or two….but this time after months I jumped right on. You are young once (see what I did there….I do not yolo PEOPLE!). I accepted invitations, all kinds….okay not all. I try to be open minded but the only way I will step in to Kenchick is if its a take away sort of occasion, and I am not #CoughHigMaintainanceCough#. I opened my mind to most people therefore. I dined with self made kids who started from the bottom and now they are there. I went for simpler dates that ended up with a home made meal……lets make it clear, after watching Hannibal, I sort of weirdly eye men who cook and are to neat! I went out with just ordinary people and at one time I even decided to stretch out my age limits……not too old though, there is a thin line between searching for a mature guy and out rightly being a clandestine and the latter isn’t too appealing to my luster.
Every story was the same! I cannot help but think literally almost the same, word for word. There was a girl in the background who also broke someones heart also! I always hate that! Talk about anything but never your ex, you do not hear me bringing mine up! Then for the ones with flimsy livelihoods, there was the part where now they had found the one, haha! But I am flattered. I got bored most times. In the past when this happened, I would pick up the phone and send a text. At times I might or might not mention where I am, he would make fun of my endevour. I would laugh so hard at some of his jokes, the guy sitting across me would think he had been funny. It was a cue, our cue…..I would not care what the time was or who was next to him, without fail he would pick up though!I did hope this did not hurt them more than it hurt me though…..DAMN!
These people could talk though, it was simple though! I did not live in their world and I was not moving their anytime soon.
It was not that I was being rude on these dates, I wasn’t. I am a good conversationalist…..I love to assume but you have to talk my lingo. I cannot listen to you go on and on about you, and your car, and your money and you really think I will listen, I won’t. I am not from the school of thought where money is everything, in fact apart from the money…or aside from the money *chuckles*…..*whispers…who does not love money* there is so much I want to care about.
On the first date, a girl will always know if this guy is walking her down that aisle, oh do not worry guys, it’s not you……it’s me! Or us…….Is he rude to the waiter, check. That is actually my first check. Never be rude to that guy, your score goes down…too low…well unless of course that guy just refused to entertain me, then please be my guest! But not so much either.
Was this the angle I was going for here? No, I cannot list the Do’s and Dont’s. The conversation above would probably end with an “I miss you” and that was definately an invitation for a night cap! He was polite, even to the cab guy who dropped me off in the middle of nowhere, because he couldn’t get directions right…….he would pick my bag, haha I hear men do not, makes them look gay. He would gladly pick the cab bill, without it being a bill deal as to who is a gold digger. He would actually pick that bill and any other to come even if I had paid for it. The other girl would have probably left, but home made dinner was there. I would pretend not to have assumed that maybe she cooked. We would stay up all night and say talk…..about anything, literally, about my writing at times and why I am not taking it seriously. About school…..I would hate that, makes it sound like he is my dad. About his bad day..I would actually listen.
Bottom line of this is yes I have a type. Maybe he define my type maybe not….but the it hit me the other day that am wasting time, my time, their time on these dates. So I did follow our usual; cue…..I texted. I dozed off only to wake up at 4am…….he had called, but I had missed it…….DAMN YOU again! I cannot call back cause that’s ten steps back.