It definitely has been a month and over, that is for sure. I have not been busy, I did not get married, I did not have a writer’s block, I did not die….I simply lost a laptop….the source of all this chitty chatter…haha so I had to go under cause if I go to a cyber to post a blog, that would really have dented my broke wallet….I am currently unemployed ha-ha. #ApologyOver#
I am a vast reader, I took an interest in African literature and I am very much impressed, I never thought I would thirst for more in this manner. I should do book reviews, but the ignorance people spot these days, am satisfied with my little book clubs where they find the reading culture to be quite the gold mine. So after talking about that ignorance, why am I still telling you about this book? It’s actually just a line, a paragraph in this book that served as an eye opener, a mind changer, a race preference changer….ha-ha. Where should I even start?
Ever since I was young I have never fancied white? I do not hate white but I have never found them to be my cup of tea. My niece literally can’t look and a black boy and blush but when I point a brown or white guy and go like “Missy, there is your boyfriend” she will blush and look at me badly then go and pout cause I said she has a boyfriend. If it were a black guy she would straight shoot it down by a comment like “That is not my boyfriend!!!!” with a stern-ness so scary! She does not even give it a second thought…the other people though, she suddenly gets emotional because at 6 years old they have these things called emotions, please, she does, she was in nursery and she came home running the first time she saw him and could not stop saying how she has seen the prettiest boy but when I say it’s her boyfriend now I am inconsiderate as she is just six!!! Was that a rant? No?
I never wanted to pursue my studies on those scholarships in China, I don’t want to do my Masters outside either…I don’t even know if I want to do it at all haha. Anyway you get my point…i.e. my niece can only say someone on tv is pretty if they have the long flowing hair with a light skin colour tone ….blah blah as in her mind operates like the Kenyan men, only difference is for her the colour has to be white or brown not yellow. For me, I like my coffee super dark! Or I used to…I mean I just said I have had a change of heart.
I don’t judge but there is a groupie of current women who only date white and I only used to give them an eye then shrug and say it’s their life…..a portion of my friends actually identify with this cult, did I just say cult? Shiiiiit that might cost me….but at times I could stop and ask why, in pretence of trying to understand, and here they go:
“Kenyan men are so unromantic…..I want a guy who is romantic”
Then the amazing voices in my head would go like “I can vouch for the Luo guys..hehe”
Next reason…..“Kenyan men are so unromantic…..I want a guy who is romantic”
It was exactly the one major reason, then I would sneer and join the stereotypes who say they all just get married to these older wrinkled bored men for the money and the lifestyles they want and well the men….ha-ha they were bored and had money that these women had to earn…oh I judged them, yes I did, then I said it’s their life. But I am done making excuses for these spoilt brats that are my race mates….there the rant now starts! I am tired of hearing how loving a woman is weak, how buying someone flowers is just fruity, how weddings are just too expensive and unreasonable, how opening the door or pulling a chair, well that can just hurt their manliness you know, and who wants that, mmmh everyone just wants to be a man you know, some sort of approval. I am done making these excuses for them, you all have daddy testosterone issues you need to solve and you need to asap!!!!!
So how does this book come in? Well, Margaret was talking about how the African boy child was never taught the value of a woman. A woman who went to school and is just trying to earn her money is suddenly viewed as one who does not want to get married in future, because all of a sudden her money emasculates the man and woe unto her because no man will look her way. She should just go home, pop babies because at the end of the day all she should do is cook, clean and breed, that is after all her place in the society! That has been transformed by the new society, courtesy of all the contraceptives in the society. What women have been reduced to is a few drinks, and that’s definitely a passkey for sex. So as long as she is there when there is an itch, a phonecall…wait text should do, a few drinks and that’s it, I mean relationships are for the weak, why would I want to be seen with that one girl it is just a pure waste of time? It’s a fairy tale, we girls have read too much and need to get out of our heads right? Or that wites are such hippies!!!! Bleeeeuh and it goes on. I keep a lot of guy friends and I am furious at the remarks they make about women, about relationships, about love……things I would fight fierce battles for. I am even cutting ties with them, this means war, and I am taking one for my team!
The other day a friend said to me that maybe labour pains is just a lie women have told so often that men have believed it but it’s a lie, they just want to get compassion from men. LOL!!! (I rarely lol btw). Like I need someone’s compassion so badly that I would scream my lungs out a whole day just so that some guy would give me some compassion, HOLY!! Like he has ever tried to push a baby through a 21cm opening? Yes that is just a lie by women, the pain, just so we can get compassion, because we after all have the choice of a c-section. Oh he was sober…so sober when he said all this!!!! The other funny comment I heard from a former boyfriend (to be)….that men never get married for love, it’s just a necessity for them cause they want kids and someone to wash their clothes etc….that is the day anything that would have happened ended for me. Heads up, there are washing machines for your clothes, there are banks and surrogates for babies…and most importantly there are women to be paid for the conjugal rights!
*deep breathing in and out*
It is at that moment that I peeked on the other side. We always say life is not a romantic comedy, I agree. The idea from that romantic comedy did come from somewhere though, I see the determination on those romantic comedies and I smile at it. The good thing is there is always a clear line, the black guy in the romantic comedy has never run after the girl or sang love ballads on the doorstep of that girl, he probably called her a whore and said he can get many others….except Michael Ealy…he gets a free pass. So there is a truth in those romantic comedies, even if it’s not all happy ever after, the white guy always believes in true love. He always believes that chivalry is not dead, he always takes her coat off, he always is at her side when she needs him, he will call her in the morning because her day starts with her, he will take her to dinner because when you stop doing these little things, people change too drastically, he would not mind that she does not pick the tab even if they are both working and won’t call her a gold digger for that. He will go down on his knee to ask her to marry him and there will be a wedding because that ceremony is every girls dream since they were in the womb, it’s in their dna and if you don’t understand something that simple…I mean even Don Draper knew Valentines was a day to be remembered and that was the perfect definition of a man in my book. He would go all the way for her to be happy….and that….that is not weak, that is not a sissy…that is a man in my books. Just because of the mere reason that he does not care that for the sake of love he will be less of a man in his crew of so called friends, because they will probably be doing the same for their women too. Don Draper did not even care about those friend affiliations anyway…he-he….every guy should watch Mad MEN!
I therefore am done making excuses, stereotyping…..men are men, women are women, but I once heard:
“You tell a man’s behaviour and worth by how he talks about his father, You judge a man’s parents by his character”
There is no way around it, you simply have to be the man you want your son to be…..and therefore I am reconsidering because I would hate my son to grow up with some mentality!
p.s. I am into Erykah Baddu…….music review on my list