FINAL TAKE ON WOMEN, by Me

Last year at a time like this i really sat down and wrote resolutions. Well not really my choice but since everyone was doing it I joined the bandwagon and well I will review my article and see what it is that I got right. I love self evaluations but in my opinion it wont be much. Something about this year 2013 didn’t feel right. It is therefore with such shame that I realized i still have an article pending, that was to be due weeks ago! I thought about letting it go, but then i did a bit of research before sitting down to write this that i wouldn’t want to let it go. So I carried my 2013 baggage with me. Or I simple said to myself, what is the difference that midnight hour tick on December 31st that will make me different, I mean really, we look forward to tomorrow yet it always is just a replica of yesterday, even if it’s 2014. There it is, told you 2013 was a bad year for me, my pessimism and cynic levels grew. I am going to write about women today.

All through my holidays I made a point of getting a manly insight on women.I would ask simple questions like “What do you look for in a girl you want to date” or “What is the defining point of a woman to you”

I don’t know. Men sometimes have the ability to be too vain, i hope that’s the word, that they cannot give me something to challenge my brain. For some however, they thought that me asking that question was like inquiring of their opinion of me, research is hard, you never get open minded people that often.

All in all, this is my brief outline, finally.

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The male version of women is just the nagging, gold digger with a lot of emotional problems and who wants to talk about everything right?

Isn’t that all to women anyway? I bet all the males reading this might be thinking.

A woman is a mother first. Right from birth! It starts with the dolls she dresses up and the barbie whose hair she neatly does and plays tea party with. It grows to her seeing a baby in pain and feeling that pain herself and is explored when she herself then now brings life into this world. When men think they are superior to women, I often think about this and wonder what is superior to this, nothing. So all that jibby jabber from ladies you have come across that they do not want babies, pure lies, our biological clocks started ticking when we were born, the snooze button just goes crazy in our twenty somethings.

A woman reserves the right to be moody and emotional. It is our birth right. Though keep in mind when it turns to alot of emotional drama, hehe, that is not what I meant. That is insecurity.

A woman definately doesn’t sleep around, and if she does, she doesn’t let the whole world know because this world is full of too much judgement. She protects her reputation. A woman cooks for Christ’s sake, she just does. She doesn’t have to be Susan Kamau but at least she should learn to prepare her favorite dish and she cleans, no matter how much that pedicure costs.

A woman is emotional and is not afraid to feel. She tears down when the meant to be in her favourite movie doesn’t live happily ever after. She doesn’t spend hours of her day Keeping up With the Kardashians though, that’s just pure ridiculous, let girls do that. A woman handles her liquor. Infact a woman doesn’t think drinking like a fish makes her urbane.

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A woman respects herself. She might like the staple diet emotionally stunted men come with but she gets over it fast, it’s just her conforming to the “girls like bad boys” theory. She therefore asks you to straighten your act up or you go. A woman doesn’t need to Think Like A Man, yes Mr. Steve Harvey, I disagree. That is games left for girls who still want to change bad boys.

A woman isn’t scared of going up the career ladder. Success doesn’t intimidate her even if it goes higher that her mans. But a woman knows to never rub it in his face. She never chases her career too much to forget that family is important because a woman holds a family together and when it falls apart, however much it’s his fault, it’s equally hers.

If she wants, a woman can date for money. It makes her a soft whore yes, but well, deep inside we all love money. She can marry for money…….this woman however can only marry for power hahahaha, if love fails. She cares about her health, her image, simply self conscious. It has never about men, our weight issues, it is always about how those clothes look on us.

A woman is definately jealous. Of all those other women her man talks too especially. She doesn’t need to show the whole world by sending those relationship requests on Facebook, that’s cheap. A woman owns her man without putting a leash on him. If he is stupid enough to cheat well he can. Even women like Halle Berry or Eva Longoria get cheated on, it’s not about the woman but shows more about the man. So yes he can cheat, but she walks out when she finds out. A woman sets the bar of the relationship, how she wants to be treated because lets face it, men need that. If she compromises the bar, she gives the new setting of the relationship and it is never the same.

A woman wants to be adored, appreciated, respected, thought about. Her heart melts when you call her in the morning and say you were thinking about her. A woman who denies this is a liar. A woman says fine when it is really not. When she says okay, just as one word in the middle of an argument, big or small, then your problems have escalated and you have deeper issues coming your way.

Well a woman can pick up the bill, once or twice, or thrice…but never all the time. It comes out as desperate. She does not pay a man’s bills, especially if she wasn’t involved. This includes his rent, his fuel (that statement is going to land me in trouble), or send him an mpesa for lunch…..lmaoooo. Oh no she definately doesn’t send him an Mpesa for lunch well cause that makes him Wambui and him Mbugua, if you are from my school of thought. A woman is however generous and when a situation calls for it, she steps up.

A woman respects a man. he doesn’t embarrass him in front of people because he knows they have egos too big that ever heal over little things. A woman has morals she is defined by. It does not mean she doesn’t have some indulgence, she can send her boyfriend her nude photo if she is crazy enough.

A woman is cunning more than a man. Sneakier than a man. She doesn’t have to be smart but she is learned. She makes the effort. A woman is hygienic and doesn’t wear a TNA tshirt to town, unless he has some Markiti errands to run. She has a bad hair day but she fixes it. She smells good. Good enough to make you want to smell her. She doesn’t wear makeup cause she thinks she is ugly or not put on a weave because there is a liberation movement formed by men against weaves, she does it because she loves it. It compliments her.

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Happy Read

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